Family Constellation Therapy

For many years I had been aware that pain is not just something that happens to us from birth but in fact pain may have its origin in one’s family going back a number of generations.

In my therapeutic work I had witnessed this time and time again, yet, I lacked a fuller understanding of its dynamics and a methodology of addressing it, and as a result, often felt that some of my therapeutic work was left incomplete. Together with this vague feeling of dissatisfaction with some of my work was a feeling I occasionally felt of tremendous sadness that logically I could not explain, nor could I feel into its origin.

A breakthrough came when I discovered the work of Bert Hellinger in 2006 that introduced me to the reality of intergenerational trauma. In January of 2007, I attended my first Family Constellation workshop in London where I was finally able to experience the powerful work and insights of this impressive approach to healing.

Family constellation work looks at the origin of issues through the family system. People often get an inkling of the reality of this work when perhaps, after a period of counselling or therapy their issue persists, or a noticeable pattern of behaviour becomes evident that you sense comes down from one or both parents’ side of the family tree. At the heart of intergenerational trauma lies loss or personal disempowerment concerning an ‘unrecognised’ person or event that has been ignored or covered up. Later, a descendent will unconsciously identify with an unknown relative or event and will act out the life script of his antecedent in order to balance the family system.

Normally, a group format is used in Family Constellation work in which participants select other participants to represent family members. Then, almost by magic, the representatives are able to pick up on and sense through their bodies the significant events around the origin of the family issue. The person presenting an issue observes and is immediately struck by the accuracy and insight of the material revealed. No dialogue or talking takes place among the representatives, rather focused attention on the body and its movements, with a few short questions to the client to clarify what they are witnessing through the representatives.

Family constellation work is ‘solution focussed’ in that a ‘movement’ in the family system leads towards a resolution through a client becoming fully aware of the extent to which they are enmeshed or identified with a parent or relative. The emotional truth (acknowledging ‘what is’) that participants feel for the relative engenders a level of compassion and love that cuts burdensome emotional ties and at the same time nurtures a profound respect for the life experiences of the relative. An ‘Aha’ moment occurs and with it a new breath and sigh of relief is felt by the client.